Cannibal Kitchen: Top 5 of 2012

As the end of 2012 approaches, it is that time again to put my Top 5 list out into the world. I figured what better way to do that then to pair it along with some tasty appetizers equip to make any New Years party a success. So let’s ring in the new year with some good cinema and a belly full of finger foods.

5) The Collection

I’m semi embarrassed to say I enjoyed not one, but two films by a man who had his hands in the making of some of the Saw films. With that said, I have to give credit where credit is due, because Marcus Dunstan is really doing horror fans a service with the two films in the “Collector” series so far. The Collection is a great sequel and a nice pick for anyone who can stomach a little blood.

A Chorizo Collection

–       Crescent Rolls, 2 Packages
–       Chorizo, 2 Sausages lining cut and innards out
–       Mild Cheddar Cheese, Shredded
–       Paprika
–       Onion Powder
–       Cayenne Pepper

Preheat the oven to 375 Degrees F. roll out the pastry on a flat surface. In a medium-sized skillet, fry up the chorizo and sprinkle a small amount of paprika, onion powder, and cayenne pepper over it. Once cooked, place a little bit of the chorizo topped with cheese into the center of a crescent roll triangle. Next, fold the longer pointed side of the triangle up and over half of the chorizo mixture and then pinch the sides so that the dough has no holes in it. Once you have that side done, fold the other corner up and over the mixture and pinch the outsides and center together to seal the dough into a perfect square pocket. Place assembled pastries on a baking sheet and bake for 11-13 minutes.
Makes 16
*To make vegetarian, substitute a fake chorizo and follow the directions the same. I usually use Soyrizo.

4) The Innkeepers 

Unlike a lot of the horror community, I am still a Ti West supporter and really look forward to what he continues to put out. I thought The Innkeepers was a well written ghost story, that had the perfect amount of humor, witty dialogue, and scare to keep me interested. Sometimes it’s hard to come by a fun horror film, but with the adorable Sara Paxton and charming Pat Healy in lead roles this film easily succeeds.

The Innkeeping of Meat

–       1 Package Lil’ Sausages
–       1 Package Bacon, Thin cut
–       Light Brown Sugar
–       2 Packages Crescent rolls
–       Toothpicks

Preheat oven to 375 Degrees F. Cut each slice of bacon in half and in a large skillet cook on medium heat until slightly cooked. It is important to only cook the bacon until slightly browned because you still want it flexible and not yet fully crispy.
On a flat surface roll out the crescent rolls and cut each large triangle into 3 smaller triangles. To assemble the pigs in the blanket, take 1 triangle square, lay a slice of bacon on top, and then place a mini hot dog in the center of that. Fold the crescent roll and bacon tightly around the mini hot dog. Insert a toothpick into the top to hold everything together, and transfer to a baking tray. Sprinkle lightly with brown sugar and back for about 11-13 minutes.
Makes about 24
*To make vegetarian, substitute fake hot dogs cut into 3′s and fake bacon. Cook the same, except there is no need to fry the bacon before hand. Just wrap around the cut hot dogs and wrap a crescent roll around them

3) Dear God No!

I’m well aware that “technically” this had a 2011 limited release, but I didn’t get my hands on it until 2012. So this is me giving my best “suck it” face to anyone who wants to have their panties in a bunch. Dear God No! is a great modern-day take on all of those old Grindhouse films that we love so dearly. Many have tried, but most have not succeeded as well as James Bickert has marrying a present day film and 70′s exploitation. Plus, there’s Big Foot, and that’s the only selling point you really need. I for one can’t wait for the sequel!

Biker Beer Bread

–        3 Cups Bread flour
–        1/2 Cup granulated sugar
–        12 Ounces beer (Maybe some extra if you’re feeling frisky, just no Corona. I used Goose Island 312)
–        2 Tablespoons melted butter
Preheat the oven to 350°F. In a large bowl, mix together the flour, sugar, and beer. It is key to make sure you do not over mix. Ingredients should be just combined, and batter will be a sticky texture.
Pour into a 9 x 5 inch greased loaf pan (I use olive oil to grease my pan for a healthier option) and bake for 60 minutes. The top will be firmer, and the insides will be soft and doughy. The last 10 minutes of baking remove bread from oven. Melt butter in a separate bowl, and then spread melted butter over the top of the bread. Return bread back to oven and continue to bake for the remaining 10 minutes.
Once the bread is completely done baking make sure to allow it an hour to cool before removing it from the pan.
A Gang of Garlic and Artichoke Dip

–     1 Cup Mayo
–     1 Cup Sour Cream
–     2 Tablespoon Minced Garlic

–     1 (1/2) Tablespoon Garlic Powder
–     1 Tablespoon Onion Flakes

–     1 ( 8 oz) Canned Artichoke Hearts, Drained and finely diced
–    1/2 Teaspoon crushed red pepper
–    1/2 Teaspoon dried parsley
–    Shaved Parmesan to Garnish
In a medium-sized bowl fully combine all ingredients. Cover and chill 2 hours before serving. Before serving, garnish with a handful of shaved parmesan.
Serves 6 
2) V/H/S

I enjoy movies that consist of short films, and I think that’s why I like V/H/S so much. It makes me feel all Creepshow inside. I think it speaks volumes any time a Director can successfully make a short and manage to well roundly develop a storyline, plot, and characters. In V/H/S I believe this is achieved enough to warrant being one of my favorite films of the year.

Forget Found Footage, I Found a Cherry in My Cupcake

–       1 (1/3) Cups All-Purpose flour
–       ¼ Teaspoon Baking Soda
–       2 Teaspoons Baking Powder
–       ½ Cup Unsweetened cocoa powder
–       ¼ Teaspoon Salt
–       ½ Cup Unsalted Butter
–       1 ½ Cups Sugar
–       3 Eggs
–       1 Teaspoon Vanilla Extract
–       ½ Cup Buttermilk
–       1 Jar Carmel
–       1 (21 oz) Can Cherry pie filling

Preheat oven to 350 Degrees F and line a muffin tin. Sift together flour, baking powder, baking soda, cocoa, and salt. Set aside. In a medium saucepan over medium heat, melt butter. Next, add sugar to the melted butter, and mix together until the sugar is no longer grainy; about 5 minutes. Remove the butter mixture from the heat and allow to cool for 5 minutes. Transfer the mixture to a large mixing bowl, and add eggs one a time and beat well after each addition. Add the vanilla and gently beat until combined.
Next, add half the flour mixture, alternating with the butter cream, and then finishing with the remaining flour. Make sure to mix well after each addition. Spoon the batter into the muffin tins until each is half full. Follow by placing a ½ Teaspoon of caramel, ½ Teaspoon cherry pie filling, and 1 cherry from the filling into the center of each circle of batter.
Bake for 15 to 17 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted in the cake comes out clean. Frost by piping with the “This Movie Bummed Out The Exorcast Butter Cream” Recipe or with your favorite frosting recipe. For an added wow, pipe a small amount of caramel over the top of each cupcake in addition to the butter cream and garnish then with another cherry.
Makes 12
This Movie Bummed Out The Exorcast  Butter Cream
–       1 ½ Sticks Unsalted Butter, softened to room temperature, not melted
–       3 Cups Powdered Sugar, Sifted
–       ¼ Teaspoon Salt
–       1 Teaspoon Maple Extract
–       1 Teaspoon Almond Extract
–       3 Tablespoons Milk, at room temperature

The key to a good butter cream, is allowing the butter to naturally come to room temperature. Nuking it in the microwave changes the consistency of the butter, which can in turn make your frosting grainy or greasy. Also, it is equally important to sift the sugar before using. Be patient, it pays off.
In a large bowl, beat butter on high-speed for 3 minutes. Next, add 3 cups of powdered sugar to the butter mixture. Mix the sugar and butter on a medium speed until just incorporated after each addition of 1 cup. After the last cup of sugar is added, continue to mix for 5 minutes.
Next, add the maple extract, almond extract, salt, and 3 tablespoons of milk. Mix until well combined. If you prefer your frosting stiffer, add more sugar. If you prefer your frosting runnier, add more milk, 1 Tablespoon at a time and mix after each addition.

1) The Cabin In The Woods

Surprise, surprise. The Cabin In The Woods seems to be gracing a lot of people’s number one spots this year, and mine is going to be no different. Simply put, one can never go wrong with a Drew Goddard and Joss Whedon love child.

“Big Brother” Bites

–       8 Ounce Cream Cheese, Softened
–       1 ½ Cups Cucumbers, Diced
–       8 Pieces Wheat Bread
–       2 Tablespoons Italian Dressing
–       1 Tablespoon Mayonnaise
–       ¼ Teaspoon Salt
–       ¼ Teaspoon Black Pepper
–       ¼ Teaspoon Dill

In a medium-sized bowl mix together all ingredients except bread. Next, toast all pieces of bread until golden brown and then cut off the crust. Build sandwiches by spreading a generous amount of mixture onto 4 pieces of the bread. Place the additional bread on top of each to form a sandwich. Cut each sandwich into 4 squares.
Makes 16

And as usual, thank you all for stopping by in 2012. Can’t wait to see everyone in 2013!