Well, it is sadly that time of year again! Before we can take a look at the best this year had to offer, we got to look back on the not so great. Now, let me just say that I mean this with no ill will towards anyone who made the movies or had anything to do with them. It just didn’t float my boat for whatever reason. Now, with that being said, it’s just my opinion so let’s not get too bent out of shape.
So, here’s the worst of the year in my opinion.
10: THE VATICAN TAPES
We’ve seen this before, but at least we’ve found a none-habit-forming cure for insomnia.
09: OPEN WINDOWS
Do you want to see a movie that not only tosses all logic out the window, but also tosses in some of the dumbest twists you’ve ever seen? Watch Open Windows.
Hard to believe someone who made such a great film like the remake of Maniac can turn something like this in. That is just what happens here and the end results is something that is about as bad as Maniac was good.
07: CHARLIE’S FARM
Are we trying really hard to be the next Hatchet? Do you REALLY want to be that? The end results are a movie with mind numbingly dumb characters, about all the usual cast we always see in stuff like this, and a very dull movie that tries to use gore to box it all in, but it doesn’t ever work.
06: THE LAZARUS EFFECT
I can deal with a bad studio movie, but a bad studio movie that wasn’t even soo bad it had parts you could laugh at is something I can’t handle. The Gallows at least had that going for it.
05: TREMORS 5: BLOODLINES
I’m not sure we’ve had a good Tremors movie since the first one. The line of bad Tremors movies continued with Jamie Kennedy being tossed in for “Bloodlines”.
04: THE PACT II
What could have been a good sequel turns out to be a follow-up that would give any mid-90’s cash-in sequel a run for its money when it comes to coming off second-rate. It comes complete with killing off the more likable lead from the first movie early on as well.
03: QUEEN OF BLOOD
If you’ve seen Chris Alexander’s Blood for Irina, then you’ve seen this. If you hated that, you’ll hate this.
After nobody was happy with the results of Asylum, the people behind the film were told to fix it. The results were them inserting a movie within the movie where they sit and poke fun at what made the original effort bad. It ended up making the whole thing un-watchable.
01: MASSAGE PARLOR OF DEATH
Far be it for me to beat-up on a movie that only took $50 to make, but I’m not the only reviewer this year that was bored to tears with Massage Parlor of Death. The “it was only $50” badge of honor could have been worn proudly if it had at least looked like some effort was put into it and not being made bad for the sake of being bad. If you are curious, you can get this from Sub Rosa, a company that isn’t above recording the evening news off TV, dubbing it on a VHS tape, and then trying to charge you $30 for it because someone drew a cover for it.