Cannibal Kitchen: The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 (1986)

“After a decade of silence…the buzzz is back”

In spirit of the constant talk of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 3D I figured it was time for me to cover one of my personal favorite sequels to a film ever, “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2”. It is unclear yet whether or not the 2013 version is a sequel to the original or the re-make, but in my eyes it has a lot to prove. I’m going to go out on a limb here though and assume that it’s meant to be a sequel to the original due to Bill Moseley character. Wishful thinking on my part…maybe. I for one will be sitting in the theaters with an unenthused eye until given a reason not to be once this comes out. Anyways, this is not meant to be about my reluctance on re-makes, re-boots, or whatever you want to call it, this is about what I consider a sequel done up to the nines; well at least in the realms of flesh and one liners.

When TCM2 first came out it was trashed. Critics and many horror fans finally had something in common; they both seemed to hate this movie. Many dismissed this film as a joke and not having a violent or high enough body count as its slasher film competition. I am here to tell you that these people are flat-out very wrong. TCM2 is very violent, just in a different way. Sure the body count is low, but this film is a mind blow in a terrifying yet witty type of way that most directors and writers can’t achieve. Ultimately, I think this film suffered as many others have of being way before it’s 1986 time.

I typically do not like sequels that don’t have the same cast. Even one person re-casted tends to throw my eyes into a rolling motion. Despite the almost total recast with TCM2, I’ve surprisingly been able to keep my eyes in place. Oddly, the recast works. The addition of Bill Moseley is brilliant, and “Chop Top” Sawyer is a great character. Side note, Bill Moseley, will you marry me? You’re from Illinois, I’m from Illinois…we can talk about the Midwest and over pronounce our “A’s”.

If you are going to branch out and watch any film you haven’t seen before, watch this one. You won’t be disappointed. If all else fails, you will learn how to strap three chainsaws to your body and go for it Terminator style. Man, wouldn’t that be an awesome party trick. Still unsure about the pure wit of this film….this happened.

This Chili, This Chili Is Family
“No secret, it’s the meat. Don’t skimp on the meat. I’ve got a real good eye for prime meat. Runs in the family.” In the case of my chili, it’s not only the meat that makes this dish a winner, it’s having interesting¬†ingredients that blend together for a nice bold hearty flavor that’s perfect for a cold night next to the fire….or out slicing people.

Ingredients:

– 2 (32 oz) Cans Crushed Tomatoes with Basil
– 1/4th Whiskey (I used Jack Daniels)
– Juice of 1 Lime
– 1/2 of a Medium sized Yellow Onion, Diced
-3 Garlic Cloves, Crushed and Diced
– 2 Small Tomatoes, Chopped
– 1 Large Anaheim Pepper, Diced
– 1 Large Red Chili Pepper, Diced
– 1/4th Cup Jicama, Diced
– 1 (15 oz) Can Black Beans
– 1 (15 oz) Can Red Kidney Beans
– 4 links (or about 9 oz) Chorizo Chicken Sausage, Removed from casing
– 1 Stalk Fresh Corn, Corn removed
– 1 (1/2) Teaspoon Cinnamon
– 1 (1/2) Teaspoon Salt
Р1 (1/2)  Teaspoon Chili Powder
– 1 Teaspoon Black Pepper
– 1 Teaspoon Pumpkin Pie Seasoning
– 1/2 Teaspoon Cumin
– 1/2 Teaspoon Paprika
– 1/2 Teaspoon Red Pepper Flakes
– 1/2 Teaspoon Coriander
– 1/4 Teaspoon Thyme
– 1/4 Teaspoon Cayenne Pepper

Directions:
In a small skillet over medium heat saute up the innards of the chorizo sausage until cooked. Texture should be crumbly and golden brown; about 5 minutes. In a medium-large crockpot or large saucepan, place all ingredients except beans and spices. Allow to cook for 6 hours over low heat; stir occasionally. After 6 hours add both cans of beans and all spices. Taste mixture and add more seasoning to your liking. Allow to cook for another 30 minutes. Serve as is or throw a little cheese, sour cream, and diced onions on top.

Serves 2-6

Sex Or The Soup
Sex or soup you say? Soup is mighty tasty. This is a great fall soup. It’s thick and hearty without being what you would usually expect out of a traditional “winter” soup..aka there’s no sweet potatoes anywhere near this dish. The base of this soup is a cauliflower flavor that is dressed up with the mellow spice of a pepper, and the sweetness of the Jicama. Bland soup? Not on my watch!

Ingredients:

– 4 Cups Vegetable Stock
– 1/2 of a Medium sized Yellow Onion, Chopped
– 1 Large Anaheim Pepper, Chopped
– 1 Cup Jicama, Chopped
– 1 Large Cauliflower Head, Chopped
– 1 Tablespoon Fresh Ginger
– 3 Garlic Cloves, Whole
– 1 Teaspoon Salt
– 1 Teaspoon Black Pepper
– 1/2 Teaspoon Cumin
– 1/2 Teaspoon Paprika
– Pinch of Dill
– Pinch of Cayenne Pepper

Directions:
In a medium-sized saucepan or crockpot place all ingredients except spices. Cook on high heat for 4 hours. Transfer soup to a blender, or with an emersion blender, blend soup until thoroughly mixed. If using a blender, be careful. Being that the liquid is hot it could make the lid pop off and burning yourself isn’t fun. Add spices and serve. I like to toss a little red pepper flakes on top of mine for some added heat.

Serves 2-4