Friday the 13th (2009)
Directed By: Marcus Nispel
Oh the joy of remakes! When everything was being remade, you just knew Friday the 13th wasn’t safe. And we got that remake in 2009. The results were a bit mixed, for reason I’m sure to get into here. While I was a little late picking up the DVD for it, I was also a little late picking up the Blu-ray. A Blu-ray which you can get solo or in a combo pack with the remake of Nightmare on Elm Street and Freddy vs Jason. So to horror purist, it could be a set that makes them smack their heads against a desk or wall. But none the less, let’s give our big hockey mask wearing pal a day in court shall we?
So in 1980 a little boy had drowned in the lake at Camp Crystal Lake, his grieving mother took it out on the councilors there, but one was lucky enough to survive the ordeal by chopping the head off of, Miss Vorhees. Unbeknown to everyone at the time, the poor deformed son named, Jason, wasn’t dead. Not only wasn’t he dead, but he saw it all! Now the poor, “special”, boy has grown up to be a hell of a vengeful son of a bitch, taking the death of his mother out on anyone who is close by the lake. This leads to him slaughtering a group of kids, only to take one girl hostage because she looks like his dear ol’ Mom! This in return leads her brother to come looking for her and also in return lead a whole other group to Jason’s wrath!..Well sorta, these dummies were already in the path of Jason anyway for the most part.
Well, if you’ve seen the original Friday the 13th part 1-4, you pretty much have seen this film. The movie takes parts of all 4 of those and crams them together in one film, and as a result it kinda keeps the pace moving, but doesn’t give anything a breather to develop. Clearly, they wanted to skip Jason’s mother and head right for the meat and potatoes in the franchise and thus that’s why we have everything about the original summed up within the opening segment. It’s almost like the opening credits is one film crammed together with a cliffhanger ending that then picks up after with what could have been a whole other movie. So it’s kinda creative, kinda gets the body-count up there, It’s different, but still seems a bit rushed. But I guess had we not had his mother, and then his sack over his head before we got to the hockey mask, people would have then bitched due to that.
The characters here are pretty much what you’ve come to expect from Friday the 13th. Actually, the whole movie is pretty much nothing you hadn’t seen before, besides now, Jason, to spite being “special” is pretty damn smart, building tunnels and knowing how to do a ton of other things to spite him growing up in the woods all alone. Obviously, he didn’t learn this before his mom had her head chopped off, right? But back to the point, the characters are all cookie cutter. The stoner, the black guy, the asshole, the slut, the pretty girl with the heart of gold, ect. The only real difference this time around is you actually have a strong male lead, most slashers don’t have that. And you also have a situation where you kinda get not one but two final girls, but I think you know how that will end right?
While the movie does pack it’s moments, and I did like some of the kills, even if they didn’t seem that different from what we had already seen, it’s again ruined at times by CGI in my opinion. I know this is something that doesn’t bother everyone, and it’s not as obvious as it usually is, but it’s still there, and I still can tell. Besides that I guess the rest isn’t that bad. I think after all the other Friday films people where looking for something a little different, which puts the makers of the movie in a bad spot. You got people who want something different without going too far away from the original source. I may take some heat for this but I think Rob Zombie’s Halloween is a perfect example of what to do and what not to do. The first was great, the second wasn’t. So in a way, this movie just stays a little to close to the original without straying away, and it doesn’t even have the level of gore it needs to get a pass.
And while I hate to sound like a pervert, let’s not forget if you are looking for T & A, this is a horror film that at least gets that right, better than any of the originals before it. This film packs what I think may be the greatest sex scene ever in a slasher film. I’ve wrote about it by it’s self before, it’s on a late night Cinemax level in a lot of ways. And it’s not a quick scene either, it goes on and on for what seems like a lot longer than the usual MPAA might allow. And you know it may be bad to say this, but at the end of the day, I really think when all is said and done THAT scene is what everyone will remember from the remake of Friday the 13th. Not the strong male/female leads, not the Jason (played just fine by Derek Mears), but that sex scene and seeing Julianna Guill naked. But you know it’s a little unfair, because while it’s not the greatest horror film ever by any means, it’s really an above average Friday the 13th film, so maybe we’re just too picky?
The movie is a bit of a mixed bag. But if you love Friday the 13th, you’ll enjoy this for the most part. It’s pretty much what we got with the original series, outside the awkward CGI moments. This being a newer film, the transfer doesn’t look bad. The only down side to it all is the soft look or slight blur some scenes seem to have. Audio is pretty damn good and it still looks better picture wise than just about any Friday film I can think of, not counting the look of Freddy vs. Jason.
The Rating (6/10)