OK, I was wrong..Part 3 wasn’t the worst!
Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan (1989)
Directed By: Rob Hedden (The Colony)
So by now Friday the 13th was really running out of steam. Sorta like how SAW is doing today. So in a effort to just get people to go see another Jason movie, the marketing idea was to send Jason from the woods to New York, with the result being Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan. Only thing is, to spite being one of the longer running films of the series, Jason spends most his time on a boat not in New York. So um..Hey he’s on a boat!!!?..Is that reference still relevant??
So Jason is once again brought to life by mistake at the bottom of Crystal Lake and somehow the bastard ends ups getting on board of a boat filled with a graduating class. After Jason starts his rampage there, the chaos eventually ends up in Manhattan! But not nearly enough to garner the name of the film which is in return borderline false advertising! Of course what we get is lame lame lame, Oh and in flashbacks Jason isn’t bald and deformed anymore, what’s up with that???
So the film gives us two leads in a girl and boy named Rennie and Sean, and both are pretty lame. Rennie seems to have psychic powers and keeps having flashbacks of a time she was trying to swim and the child form of Jason, with hair and not deformed, tried to pull her down under the water. Hopefully, she’s just heard the legend of Jason and it’s all in her head because if it isn’t we just shot continuation all to hell! Also have I pointed out yet how I bet this script was written in crayon?? It seems to be on that type of level.
So once again we have Kane Hodder under the mask as Jason and I bet even he wonders just what the hell this mess is. While Kane does just as fine a job as ever, there is nothing at all for him to work with here. The characters are lamer than usual and the kills (besides one scene where a guy challenged Jason to a boxing match) are some of the most boring in my humble opinion. It’s just soo painfully obvious as the film draaaaags on that it has ran out of steam and running on just fumes.
And don’t even get me started on the ending. I don’t know if New York has cities that get flooded underground by toxic waste at midnight or not and I didn’t feel like busting out Google to find out, but isn’t that a lame as hell way of building up to an ending? Plus let me keep bitching on how little time Jason actually does spend in Manhattan!! It’s more like Jason takes Titanic at the end of the day, and it just comes across a boring, slow moving mess..And did I miss something?? How did Jason wash up around that boat? When he killed the kids at the start did he jump back in the lake and float down stream somewhere??
In the end, you have a film that doesn’t even make much sense, not even for Friday the 13th. If you don’t have the money or time to give Jason a full run of New York then don’t even bother. Heck, you could have just skipped it all together and kept him at the lake for the 100th time had you just got rid of the stupid stuff, like the visions of Jason as a normal boy instead of what we saw him as in the other films. Unless you just want to torture yourself and end up beating your head against a wall in frustration, skip this one folks.
I can see why Paramount sold the rights to Friday the 13th after this stinker. Then again, it was them who made this mess so shame on them! There had to have been a zillion other ideas they could have went with besides this mess and the results is a straight up suck-fest! Part 3, I am sorry, you’re actually NOT the worst.
The Rating (4/10)