Very VERY awkward…
Killer Nun (1979)
Directed By: Giulio Berruti
Nun, hot Nuns, hot Nun naked!! I’m probably now going to hell, but hell couldn’t be as much worse as sitting through some parts of today’s movie, Killer Nun. Which is the definition of an awkward movie, is covered in the sleazy feel of the 70’s and released by Blue Underground on DVD, so I just had to check it out. I mean REALLY, I HAD to. I had to for a podcast. Also, Blue Underground, I’m sure you’d love for your name to be a link here. I’d love for your name to be a link here as well. So how about this, stop fronting, take me off your “waiting list”. And then you will see your name magically become a link..Yay!
A demented nun sliding through morphine addiction into madness, whilst presiding over a regime of lesbianism, torture and death. Sister Gertrude is the head nurse/nun in a general hospital, whose increasingly psychotic behavior endangers the staff and patients around her. And did you know that Nuns sleep naked?? I wasn’t aware of the fact before seeing this movie and now that I know it I do believe I am better for it. I think after seeing this thing that may be about the only really memorable thing I take from it. Well, besides the very awkwardness of the whole thing.
You might ask yourself “How I could NOT be blown away when it comes to a movie that does indeed pack some old style gore, horny/naked Nuns, and a weird sex scene that involves an old man in wheelchair”. But the sad fact to it all is, the movie just moves at too damn slow of a pace. I think there’s some OK shots, the acting is OK, and the women are hot. But there’s just nothing here to really hold everything together. I think some stuff has the focus on it for too long and by the time you move along it just has already lost your interest.
Now let’s take for example one of the later scenes in this film. A man who can’t walk without the aid of a crutch is left laying while our killer has set their sights on him. From the moment this starts until it ends it just seems to draaag on forever. I believe the pace is crawling about as fast as our gimpy man in questions is. You know that scene in The Holy Grail where they yell “GET ON WITH IT!”? That’s about what this scene and a few other scenes in this movie desperately needed. It needed someone there to yell, GET ON WITH IT!!
So after things have been gotten on with. Old people get laid and terrorized all the same, and we once again have to realize that hot Nuns sleep in the buff. The movie then ends with a bit of a twist that KINDA helps things a bit, but it’s just a shame that by now it’s much to late to really do much good to the overall product. But if you like that old school sleazy feel that you get from most Blue Underground films you might like it more than I. I however simply was a bit disappointed and a whole lot of bored. Should I now excuse myself and head on over to confession for watching this?..Oh wait, I’m not catholic! NEVER MIND!
More blasphemous than overall entertaining. Like I said before, Blue Underground is where you find it. They don’t seem to bother to ever get back to me, so I won’t bother with a link to them. They got my hard earned money for this release and plenty others as well. So I guess it’s all even. Regardless of whoever put this one out, it’s just not THAT great. Unless you just like this stuff, skip it.
The Rating (5/10)