Um does…BASTARD!!! BASTAAAAAAARD!!! BAAAASSSTAAAARD!!! ring any bells?
Directed By: Juan Piquer Simón (The Pod People)
Oh the Italians, they sure do seem to know how to do the gore don’t they? And I’ll admit, I LOVE gore..the more gore the better with me. I can’t tell you how many times I do searches for new gore filled movies per month. I even use Google to help me find “The goriest movie of all-time” and while I probably haven’t found that movie yet (need to get into more Asian films) I’m sure some would love to consider this one the winner since it’s name did pop up more than a few times.
And thankfully for Grindhouse (the DVD company) we now finally have this out UNCUT! Just another reason why Grindhouse along with Blue Underground (and to a lessor extent now days Anchor Bay) are my favorite distributors when it comes to getting cool editions of otherwise very hard to find horror films.
And if anyone from either of those companies ever run across this I will gladly review anything you guys put out if you feel the need to send me a copy of it..Now since I’m done with the dreaming how about we get to the review? OK? OK~!
Well after a couple female co-eds end up chopped up with parts of each missing the Authorities team up with a male student and campus p.i.m.p. Kendall aka Casanova (Ian Sera) and send in an undercover female detective Mary Riggs (Lynda Day George) to figure out just what is going on and who did it…Will they find the person?? Will it make any sense?? Will people be over acting and under acting all at the same freakin’ time!? Will the two of them seem to have a hidden attraction that makes you say “Coo-coo-cachoo”?..You’ll get some of your answers, but you’ll probably have even more questions by the end.
As a fellow horror blogger would say over at THE FINAL GIRL, Pieces is a pretty bad movie but a movie that is bad in a good way. You see there are movies that are just bad like say, “Hip Hop Massacre” *gets cold shiver* Then there is bad in a good way movies like what we have here.
Now you might find yourself laughing as people are murdered and having sex in pretty well populated places with very few people if anybody noticing..Sometimes they find ways to cover that up, and some times they don’t even bother. You might find it fascinating as a maniac carries around what seems to be a pretty damn large chainsaw and manages to keep it hidden in daylight, night time, and very tiny elevators, were you can apparently hide those things simply behind your back. You might notice the director trying very hard to make a handful of folks look like suspects with very little logic being found regardless of who turns out to be the killer due to a few logic and plot hole points that would come with finding out any of the suspects are indeed the killer. But, if your watching this, like I tend to often say, your not looking for much logic now are you? You are looking for a gory good time, and rest a sure that is indeed what this movie is. Besides, kinda hard to hate on a movie where a FREAKIN’ KUNG FU FIGHT breaks out, in the middle of nowhere and straight out of left field.
But I’d rank this Chainsaw movie right up there with a few of the “Texas Chainsaw Massacre” movies and even above one or two, cause well after all..”You don’t have to go to Texas for a Chainsaw Massacre” now do ya??
Of course I’d not be doing this movie justice if I didn’t bring up the ending..Oh my my my, the ending..You probably won’t understand what the hell you just saw but I bet you’ll enjoy it none the less.
You know in a form of pure storytelling and lack of a lot of things, above all else logic I can’t give this movie a high rating. Not that you shouldn’t see it because I really think you should. If you like blood you got it here, if you like movies that you can laugh at and have a good time pointing out the bad stuff well here you go. Classic B-movie material here folks. If you aren’t really into this sorta stuff skip it, but if your into horror and if your reading this you probably are..for sure check it out.
The Rating (7/10)