The Beast of Yucca Flats (1961)

Oh the horror!!..of watching this movie.

The Beast of Yucca Flats (1961)
Directed By: Coleman Francis (The Skydivers, Night Train to Mundo Fine)

The Prologue
Oh the joy of bargain bin movies huh? While out and about with the family a couple weeks back, the crew stopped at a yard-sale..something they love to do..And while I was still trying to wake up because it was just too damn early I came across a pile of old, old, OLD school double feature DVDs that had two movies on each, as well as a cartoon on each disc.

Now these were unopened and only 25 cents so I figures what the hell, and I picked up all three that the folks had out. Now the first one I decided to watch had “The Brain that Wouldn’t Die” (which I’ll probably review next), “The Beast of Yucca Flats” (which I’ll review now), and a “Superman” Cartoon that I will not be reviewing because I didn’t watch it..*insert wink here*

Either way lets get on with this horror movie from yesteryear and get to the reason I’m reviewing it first when it was actually the second movie on the disc.

The Movie
Alrighty, bare with me now as I quickly start off here by summing up the plot of this movie..A defecting Russian scientist is transformed by an atomic test into a hulking monster..Yep, that is the simple way of putting it because I’d frankly rather not spend too much time talking about the damn thing.

See way way back when, when horror movies were black and white and the gore and shock of today’s horror films were years and years away you could look past some horror films for not being up to par with today’s standards, and even with that in mind many old movies were still able to get past that and be pretty damn good…this movie wasn’t one of those.

See folks this movie is pretty short, it’s under an hour long..BUT!’ll feel like you’ve set here for hours if you attempt to watch this film. You pretty much gets under an hour of a big brute of a man walking around, moaning, and choking people in a way that looks very very fake, as well as seeing little scenes drag on where one of our characters shows the IQ of not only himself but the movie’s directors as he chases around a man who stumbles into the movie’s dumb plot by mistake and shoots at him (missing a zillion times at close range) by airplane…Yes..I’m not making this up, it’s all in the freakin’ movie.

Perhaps the director is on some level way above and beyond us simple folks, because I can’t see any other reason for his very odd camera shots and angles that while they are meant to look interesting, fail miserably of looking like anything more than something any three year old could take a camera a shoot..that’s right a three year old..hell, maybe a two year old could do this, it’s not THAT hard to do in this style.

Also the main dialogue you get in this movie..or what we are calling dialogue anyway, is coming from an unseen narrator who is trying soo hard, yet failing soo bad at being deep and meaningful. It comes across as a low rent Twilight Zone to be honest with you. Other times when people talk we never really see them say anything because the director shot the movie silently then added in any sounds, noises, and dialogue in post-production..and it shows.

The movie drags, the acting is horrible, and it’s not even bad in a good way..It’s not one of those movies you will enjoy because it’s just SOOO bad.

So to sum it up, the movie sucks.

The Conclusion
So if you haven’t figures it out yet I reviewed this movie first over the other movie I watched because this movie was just so bad I wanted to get it the heck out of the way, and be done with it, and never, ever, EEEEEEVER watch it again!

There are some very good old school horror films out there. Movies like “Night of the Living Dead” or old Hitchcock films and so on and so forth, but this movie sure isn’t one of them. So do yourselves a favor folks, avoid this one at all cost. Even if someone offers it to you for free, use it as a coaster or something along those lines, but don’t put yourself through the torment of watching it. Because the horror of setting through this pile of crap is above and beyond any horror that comes from this horrible film.

The Rating (1.5/10)