The Human Sexipede (First Sequence – A Porn Parody!) (2010)

Not a lot of story, but it sure has a lot of sex!

The Human Sexipede (First Sequence – A Porn Parody!) (2010)
Directed By: Lee Roy Myers

The Prologue
When you are a movie reviewer you have to accept a code of honor! A code that say you will sit through any film of any type to review it, no matter how the quality of the film is. So when I heard of The Human Sexipede, a parody of The Human Centipede, I knew it was my job as your humble movie reviewer to review it!..Even if it is a porno film. YES! I said a porno film! It’s a porn parody of The Human Centipede! So I sit down late on cold and lonely night, I grabbed my box of tissues just in case…um..just in case there was tear jerking moment. And I gave it a watch! So how well did I enjoy The Human Sexipede? Read and find out!…

The Movie
Dr. Heiter (played by porn legend Tom Byron) “kidnaps” two American girls and an Asian man who, in the immortal words of Mick Jagger, can’t seem to get no satisfaction! You see, the good doctor has came up with a very twisted little plan, he will attempt to join all three of them together mouth to genitals so that they are able to continually pleasure each other by way of oral sex!! Now he had tried this once before but it didn’t work out so well. Will he succeed this time around??..Well who cares!!? We get to at least watch the process!

You know there’s a stereotype when it comes to porno films, and this movie pretty much sticks with them all. BUT!! (and yes we have a but here and a very many nice looks “butts” in the film), this a porno that actually works better as a parody than many “real” films that try to parody other films. There’s more than just sex here, there’s actual witty dialogue, and people can actually act in a very convincing comedic way. I was pretty shocked, and I think if you can get past the idea it’s a porno, you might find there’s more here than just spanking material..Oh, and if you are into that sorta thing it has plenty of that to.

I also loooved how the film looks like a legit motion picture. It doesn’t look cheap like most porno films. It looks like a actual movie quality film camera was used and it makes it look very classy, if I do say so myself. This looks better quality wise than many films that have came and went over the years. You know how most the time if you watch a porno film you feel the need to run and take a shower after due to feeling so dirty? A feeling usually caused because the film just looks dirty quality wise? Well, that’s not the case here at all! If you run and take a shower it may be because you want to clean up!..Um..yeah..maybe I should move along?

So, yeah..The Human Sexipede is a porno film. A very hardcore porno film. People get it put in every hole, there are lesbian scenes, three ways, and yet it also packs a pretty funny little story that follows along the plot of The Human Centipede well enough. Pardon me for  being a little graphic with my details here, I think all the scene are very well done for what this is, I just could do without the gagging sounds during the um..well..you know. Hearing people gag usually makes me gag. However, besides that very well done for what it is. If you are into this sorta thing, and like horror, then I think you may enjoy this on a lonely long night. After all, isn’t it a common understanding that most horror fans never have sex with real people anyway? This could be your life saver!

The Conclusion
If you are interested in this because you just like porno, or if you are just curious as to what this is, then feel free to run along over to the official web-site for the film! But be warned before you click that link, it is an adult site and by clicking that link you agree that you are at least 18 years of age and that you understand what you are getting into. I’m just trying to review movies here folks, don’t sue me cause you don’t read!

Oh, and for this film I will give two ratings, the normal rating system for the movie part of the story (Which was funny and actually smart), and the Super-Duper-Sex-O-Rama Rating which is solely for the quality of the um..”love” scenes. 


The Rating (4.5/10)

Super-Sex-O-Rama Rating (7.5/10)