Girl on the Third Floor (2019) (BLU-RAY REVIEW)
DIRECTED BY: Travis Stevens
STARRING: CM Punk, Trieste Kelly Dunn, Sarah Brooks
RATED: UR/REGION A/1:78/1080P/NUMBER OF DISCS 1
AVAILABLE FROM Dark Sky Films
Bursting pipes, rotting walls and unidentifiable slime were not what Don Koch (WWE legend Phil “CM Punk” Brooks) expected when he convinced his wife Liz (Trieste Kelly Dunn) that he could renovate their new Victorian home himself. In over his head, under duress and tempted by his old weaknesses, Don soon discovers that the house has its own dark, sordid history and won’t be so easy to change after all…
If you can get past the fact that our leading man CM Punk is played a sex-crazed partier with straight edge tattoos on his body, Girl on the Third Floor is pretty darn solid. In what boils down to a classic tale of the horrors of home repair, Punk plays Don who has gone ahead with his trusty dog, Cooper, to get a house ready for his wife and unborn child to move into. Sadly, the house is oozing some nasty looking stuff and a mysterious girl is showing up and causing Don to go back into some bad habits. This one can be darkly funny at times and super creepy at other times. You almost feel like Punk is auditioning for a role as a new Ash in some new Evil Dead movie with the way he’s dressed and when he gets blood and other junk on his randomly during the movie. It’s not perfect but fun enough.
The danger is in the air from nearly the jump with this one and while there’s a few twists and turns along the way that might be a little questionable from a storytelling point of view, I don’t think this one disappointed. Heck, it might beat most folks’ expectations due to just the amount of gross-out and gory moments it has. You can’t call any of the main characters in this thing the smartest characters you’ll ever see in a movie but it wouldn’t be a horror movie if they were smart now would it? At the end of the day, Girl on the Third Floor is a good watch and leaves a few questions lingering. It isn’t perfect but it never crosses over into outright bad either.
– Commentary with Writer/Director/Producer Travis Stevens
QUALITY OF TRANSFER: 95%